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Two years ago, I underwent a voluntary Ketamine infusion at the New York State Psychiatric Hospital/Institute. I found the information to volunteer completely by mistake through a website called “Patients Like Me”. It is a website to communicate with other members about your condition whether it is physical, mental or emotional.
I was and still suffering from melancholy depression, anxiety, paranoia, anger, social anxiety disorder and persecution complex both interior and exterior. My psychiatrist recommended I shouldn’t undergo the treatment with Ketamine as I had never taken any psychoactive drug treatment in the past.
Read more: Ketamine – A hope for Suicide Prevention
However, feeling brave and with nothing to lose, I volunteered to participate in the research and stayed at the hospital for 3 weeks. The Ketamine infusion was an extremely powerful drug, an experience I never had before and wouldn’t want to repeat.
My eyes were shut throughout the entire infusion, I couldn’t talk or move, and didn’t want to. I was holding on for dear life as my mind was racing at the speed of light and changing mental thoughts happens instantaneously. The entire experience only lasted about 40 minutes.
However, directly after the treatment, I felt free emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I didn’t feel burdened instead I felt like my dark and disturbed emotional life was literally scooped out of my body and mind. The treatment was a 100% success. I was healed.
After a day or two, the infusion treatment wore off and I fell into a horrific spiral of despair, anxiety and suicidal depression. No other treatment was available for these side effects except the anti-depressants I was already taking and counseling/therapy with the doctors, who were quite wonderful to me for my entire stay. It was an experience I shall never forget.
I am a US Navy veteran. I still undergo weekly therapy sessions at the VA and regularly take my prescribed medicine every day. These all work 95% of the time, which is much better than how I was dealing with my condition in the past, which was alcoholism for 7 years.