My Mom had this Condition and Now I Have it Too

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Do you think Children who are Growing Up with a Depressed Family member are more likely to be Depressed when they are Adults? Tell us what you think in the comments!

I remember the phone call like I just hung up.

Filled with sorrow and hurt I thought it was all a joke. Some pain just can’t be mended, no matter how hard you try to keep it from coming to your mind when everything’s silent.

Thoughts racing through my mind a million miles per second. All the times we laughed, cried, got angry with each other, we held each other together no matter what. We always tried to stick by each other’s side.

Even after a minute of silence, it still breaks my heart because it leads me to the memories of her. Depression and anxiety make the feelings worse. Somedays I’ll be happy and others I’ll be so depressed I want to sleep all day.

The anxiousness of knowing how fast someone can be taken from you kills me. I’m on guard 24/7 because I don’t know if I can take this pain all over again. Seeing people dying every day on the news doesn’t help.

My mom was such an amazing woman always putting a smile on your face even when her heart was broken from her traumatic past. Now people say your past can make you or break you and for her, she had both. But in the end, it broke her.

I remember being a little girl looking at her happy and cleaning the whole house, then some days she was depressed and hurt. It killed me watching her like that.

In my heart, I knew she deserved way more than she got out of life. Depression and anxiety aren’t something people make up. I hear some people say those are excuses so you can avoid the real world but at the end of the day, it’s not.

Imagine sitting in your room upset and your shaking over a passing thought, not being able to eat because if you do, you have to get out of bed and that’s not something your body is willing to do. So you sit in bed in the dark not sleeping because your thoughts won’t stop. Or being on the bus in 2:30 traffic paranoid about if people are laughing at you or something completely different your heart beating out your chest because you can’t breathe, there are too many freaking people around you.

You are trying to listen to everyone’s conversation and movements and it’s driving you crazy because that’s not possible. Or how about when you feel like the whole world is crashing at your feet and you feel like you can’t catch it because everyone tells you that you are incapable of doing it.

You have a mental disability, do what you can” which to them is less than you can conquer. I may only be 22 but people with mental illness to me are stronger than people without them, that’s how I feel.

Don’t let anyone tell you a mountain is too big for you to conquer, remember depression and anxiety always have their highs and lows, so try to make the best of it.


Source: CureUp



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