When did you realize you had Social Anxiety? Let us know in the Comments and Show your Support by Sharing the Blog!
It was the end of the summer, my mum and I had just finished picking up my school uniforms and the reality sunk in. It wasn’t just that summer fun was over, but also that there would be no more afternoon soap operas with mum or sewing and baking with nanna. I was being taken out of my comfort zone.
I didn’t know about social anxiety at the time. I was only four years of age. A well behaved, good natured, quiet, shy child who NEVER could say no and/or yes. I was just a scrunch of the nose, raise of the shoulders, tilt of the head “whatever” kind of girl.
My mum always wanted to portray the family as the upper middle class. We are great. No problems here. My brother was involved in hockey – street, deck, and ice. While I was involved in ballet, tap, gymnastics, Girl Scouts, ice skating, cheerleading, etc.
Read more: 5 Ways to Survive an Anxiety Attack
We were portrayed as the perfect family with perfect jobs, rental properties, and businesses. We had the perfect home: a house on the lake and one at the vineyard. We had the all-American lifestyle that people desire so much.
Then there’s me. I always wonder about that summer day yet did nothing or spoke of that day ever again. Didn’t she see something was wrong? Why’d mum yell at me so much?
I waited until I knew I’d have enough time to get the chair to the counter and get in the medicine cabinet. I grabbed my favorite “help me sleep medicine” (this wasn’t my first time). As I began to take my third sip, my mum walked in.
“What are you doing?”
“I just want to sleep!”
“You want to fall asleep and never wake up?”
I got silent but, in my head, all I could think was,“YES!”. Why at that age, (4 years) didn’t she think to get me help? I’m 37 years old now and still can’t get the help I need.
Read more: Living Day by Day with Anxiety
Please as parents, pay attention to your children. It’s not always cut and dry. Get over your fear of not having the family you imagined and take care of the one you do have.
Signed: Lauren T.